So you know how i said something about not wanting to waste my weekend? My obsession has taken a new twist:

I'll get the rest on there soon, but it's a start.

Dark and Spooky Translations for Goths, Volume 2

Okay, something's wrong with my nifty macro that displays gothic text. Any VBScripters out there wanna take a stab at it for me, let me know*, but for this week's installment, I'm just gonna give you the commonly accepted transliteration.

* The macro hasn't changed at all, but one of its functions is that it takes only text that's in Times New Roman and changes it to Courier New to prevent a loop. Now when you run it, nothing happens, but the find/replace window now says "Times New Roman (default)" and "Courier New (default)" instead of without the defaults. Like I said, the macro hasn't changed, so maybe a Windows Update? Maybe something stupid I'm overlooking? I dunno. It's annoying, and I'm not feeling obsessive-compulsive enough about it to blow my weekend on it.

weih ni þanhun wiþra ain sikíljan, biþê þat faur dauþau gaggiþ!
Never go in against a Sicilian when death is on the line!

hwat faur ainat sildaleika faurhâh!
What a fabulous window treatment!

wileis þu paumais þarmiþ gahaban?
Would you like fries with that?

"þu þugkjis wisan ains sêla guma. ik hataidêdjau þuk dauþjan."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to kill you."

"þu þugkjis wisan ains sêla guma. ik hataidêdjau diwan."
"You seem a decent fellow. I hate to die!"


Vinegar Update

Just a quick update on the vinegar sitch.

The red wine continues to crank out great vinegar. I bottled up about 2 cups of it (which was most of it) and took out most of the mother, then set it to work again.

So I went to Surdyk's on Wednesday to pick up some supplies for Project Runway night, and while I was there I asked the snotty wine guy for their cheapest, nastiest bottle of red wine they had. It was awfully funny to see his reaction, especially when I told him what I was doing with it.

"But for a dollar more, this one is really a little more drinkable."
"But I'm going to dump it into a bucket and let it spoil. I don't care how palatable is it."
"But... but... WHY?? HOW?? Why would you do that??"

Peat and I both poured ourselves a glass (it was a 2007 Barefoot Merlot) and poured the rest into the crock. We each took one sip, and then our ample glasses followed the rest into the crock as well. It tasted like plastic and old lady perfume. That's what you get for $5, I guess, but I maintain that Trader Joe's Three-buck Chuck is way better.

The mead vinegar chugs along slowly but surely and is actually really nice. I haven't delved back into the world of malt vinegar again yet, because I think it just has too low an alcohol content to keep bad things from growing in it. I think I need to brew up a good strong stout and try again. Someday...


Dark and Spooky Translations for Goths

Because I am extremely busy and have a million better things to do, I decided to translate some things into Gothic.

Hwar ist meins gaitsûgja?
Where is my chupacabra?

Meins feina niuja swarta undarsnaga gneidiþ mik.
My fancy new black underwear is chafing.

Du-hwé finþada fiusa in þizei saipjôn?
Why is there bacon in the soap?

Guþiskans frijônd/liuband David Hasselhof!
The Goths love David Hasselhof!

Uþ ik habáidêdjáu ainata niukilô wiþra hwazuh sigaraita þataei þeina âiþei rauk, ik werþîdjáu dauþs/dauþa wesan.
If I had a nickle for every cigarette your mother smoked, I'd be dead. (dauþs = male, dauþa = female)

Silda-leika patai, akei ik þarf gaggan uþ ik qima an þata gafilh!
Great pâté, but I've gotta motor if I'm gonna make it to that funeral!

I'm not going to go very deep into pronunciation here, but here are a couple of general tips:

ai = [E:] eh in meh, not igh in sigh!
ei = [i:] ee in see, not ay in say or igh in sigh! (This is gothic, not german!)
au = [C:] aw in awful, not ow in how.
iu = [y:] ü in fühlen or u in vu, not you in you.
þ = [T] th in think.
gg = [Ng] ng in finger.
gk = [Nk] nk in think.

That should get you pointed in the right direction.

Anyway, Gothic is not my best germanic langauge, but this is my best shot. Please comment if you have any corrections (particularly if anyone can correct the declension of "hwazuh sigaraita" which I know is wrong but can't figure out).